if I can do it, so can you (maybe)
I’m done with disappointments and underachieving, done with seeing my friends make it, while I don’t. I’m tired of being a zero.
I am the fastest marathon runner here. I am the current Snowdonia Marathon champion. I am the fastest descender here. I live here. I have practised this course more than anyone. This is my race. This is my time.
I see some very good runners on the start line. I’m happy they’ve come, I want to race them. I’m not afraid of anyone.
I decide to put the hammer down. I want to win, and I’m not going to hide it. The first 2 miles are uphill, the four of us are together, but I won’t let anyone past me.
I forget every year how hard Abersoch 10k is. Relentlessly up and down hills. A stretch of trail, and a brutal uphill at the halfway point, then finishing with 1km along soft sand. After the poor showing at London Marathon, this is the first benchmark test. I have to be faster than last year. But chasing your own shadow is so hard, you are always breathing down your own neck. With 1km to go I am on track to break 33 minutes, which is my A goal. I can see the finish line, I just cannot get there.
I have to slap myself around the face. The truth is, I am nervous. I am doubting myself. I could just close the curtains, crawl into bed, and let the big bad world go to hell.
I down a coffee, listen to some Beyonce, and start to feel much better.
I know that Owain Williams is running really well, so resolve to try and hang on to him for as long as possible. Calf gets looser as race goes on. Gosh, I am really enjoying it. So exhilarating and different from the monotony of road running.
With a week until London Marathon, I still have a very tight calf (I pulled it in Brighton Marathon a week earlier). It is tight enough to feel when I am walking. Quite regularly, for no particular reason, my stomach tightens, and I get scared. A hundred thoughts rush through my mind in a second…
