“I believe that true focus lies somewhere between rage and serenity”
So said Professor X to Magneto in the Marvel film; X-Men: First Class (2011).
I am in pretty bad shape Monday. I keep moaning at work with the pain in my abs. I get told to shut it or I’ll be sent home, but it happens by itself. You don’t realise how much you need your abs until they hurt.
After work I stumble home and have a nap on the sofa, eat dinner, then go to bed. No run. No way. A very big week last week is catching up with me big time.
Tuesday my stomach is still bad, I realise I need to take control of the situation. I have to pull out of Track Tuesday, which pains me. I also have to call the manager of my club, Kent AC, to say I won’t be able to make National Cross Country on the weekend. Ending my streak of 8 in a row. This pains me more. I come in for some stick from teammates, but I love the passion and wouldn’t have it any other way. I know you guys love me really.
I decide just to stick to easy running until my stitch heals. I am on the treadmill after work. I keep replaying a conversation I had with Abu on the start line of the Village Bakery Half. He is the favourite, but he is asking me lots of questions; what kind of shape I’m in, what was my last race, what training I’m doing. It dawns on me that he is sizing me up, he thinks I am a threat.
He wins and I come 7th. I am no threat at all. Running along on the treadmill my mind is just torturing me with this. I am in a rage with myself. I can’t accept this for myself. My mind is so furious with my body for letting me down. It has a fixed idea of my place in the world, and it will turn my body inside out until I get back there. I get so worked up I want to turn the treadmill up to full speed and just run the anger out of me. But I’m hurt. I can’t do that. I have to calm down. Try and control it. Serenity.
Every day this week the rage is there, the disappointment burns. But every day I manage to bend it, control it. Saturday morning I test the abs abit with parkrun then mile reps, nothing too quick. I come out OK, feeling like I could have done more, abs more or less healed.
Sunday morning is the most perfect morning for running you can get. Zero wind, cool and sunny. I let myself go, the rage is gone now, it is just joy, skipping down the road at 5.30min miling, feeling brilliant. So different from Monday. I am back.
| 18/02/2019 | AM | PM |
| Monday | REST | REST |
| Exhausted. Bad pain in abs | ||
| Tuesday | REST | 15tm @ 7min miling |
| Pain in abs | ||
| Wednesday | 8tm @ 7min miling | 12tm @ 7min miling |
| Pain in abs | ||
| Thursday | 10 easy | 8 easy |
| Bad heartburn pm, ate too much soup for lunch. | ||
| Friday | 10 easy | |
| Pain much better | ||
| Saturday | Bangor parkrun – 16.16. (30min rest) 4 x mile in 5.14 (30 sec rest). 12 miles total | REST |
| Sunday | 15 miles @ 5.39 min miling. 21 miles total | 6 |
| TOTAL: | 101 miles | tm = treadmill |
Non-Running Highlight Of The Week:
Best friend (and Best Man) John and fam come stay over half term. Their kids get on with our kids, pizza, beach, ice-cream. We get a rally of 101 in paddle ball.
Best Thing On The Internet This Week:
My new drone video ofcourse. Now, I had to rush it out on Twitter, Insta and FB. But it looks much much better on YouTube, so please check it out! Also subscribe to my new YouTube Channel and get all the latest amazing DroneRunner videos as soon as they are live!
Link here
Thing I’m Digging This Week:
The word ‘Sonder’
Sonder: Everyone Has A Story
Yes that is me modelling the sexiest hoody of all time, from ON. Thanks loads guys, love it. On-Running.com